“I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.”
The above quote by Groucho Marx can be found in The Essential Groucho: Writings by, for, and about Groucho Marx.
“Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.”
“Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don’t anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you’re always trying for a topper you aren’t really listening. It ruins communication”
“I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.”